Let's start with a few basic facts and then go into pros and cons, in no particular order.
- I own my condo. He owns his house (I don't even think it's in his name yet).
- He is 62 and has never been married or lived with anyone (other than college roommates I think).
- I am 52 and never married. I have lived with someone (I mean Eric, not my other roommates), and frankly, had vowed to never do it again.
- When I talk about moving in, while he seems to want me to, I don't think he understands what is involved, or what I want him to do to the house before I move in.
- I wouldn't sell my condo unless we were married and had some sort of agreement in place, so I'd have to rent it - which means replacing carpets, painting, finding a rental agent to do the background checks and show it, etc. I still need to replace the toilet and dishwasher, as well.
- Moving itself - What about my piano? my wall unit? And what about his furniture, most of which I can't stand? He seems open to replacing things, but we have to really talk about these things, and his anxiety kicks in whenever I bring up anything.
- I won't move in until he has at least replaced the carpets and finished painting the rooms. The rugs are disgusting, especially the dining area and the hall. I want a nice, clean, modern house. To his credit, he has been giving a lot of stuff to Big Brother and other places, and he has done a lot to the house:
- Front and Back storm doors replaced.
- Painted the ceilings,
- Rebuilt front steps and part of the back deck.
- Painted the walls in the basement and installed a new toilet.
- Kitchen completely redone, plus new stove and dishwasher.
- House insulated
- House painted
- On the plus side, the house is in a great area, and he has no mortgage, so we'd just have to determine what I should pay him every month and how to divide up other expenses. He has 2 car driveway, a deck and yard, he's close to Hebrew College and to work, and it's more convenient to go to anyplace south and west, or Brookline etc.
- We get along 85% of the time. Of course the only time he gets anxiety is when I talk about the house and how we still need to do more to fix it up.
- I will save at least $1500 a month by moving. I need to get that in rent to cover my mortgage and condo fee. If he figures out his expenses I can pay him one amount to cover everything and hopefully still save a lot of money, considering my expenses are about $2000 a month at least.
Second postscript. 5/31/12 - now that my floors are also done, (new carpet due to water damage, see other post), I'm working hard on decluttering, but not really because I want to move. I'm STILL having a problem with that issue.
