Water Water Everywhere

Seriously, what IS it about me and water... I guess everyone I know has had water problems at some point, but this is ridiculous.

 Saturday night... 10:30 after a nice evening out. I come home and hear .... rain... but it's not raining...outside!! .. it's raining inside my wall!! and my neighbors' upstairs!! My nightmare happens over and over and over.   The water started coming out from the bottom of the wall to begin to flood my hallway.  My maintenance guy is on his way.... I've had water problems every place I've lived.  Is it me???

  So Pat finally showed up - he said he knew it was bad if I was calling.  He said at least I had a sense of humor about it... sure, I said, but I'm crying on the inside. I was practically hysterical when I called Alan, but there was no reason for him to come here.  I even called Eric - when I was wondering where Pat was. 

 So I bailed the water with a dustpan, put down all the towels I had, and waited for Pat to call his plumber -  midnight by now - and figure out where the water was coming from.

My neighbor says that a Lowe's contractor is responsible.  A young girl owns the condo on 3 and they had new floors put in and the contractor hit a pipe while putting in the baseboards.  (She did the unit in Pergo flooring and I'm thinking maybe I should rip up the carpeting and do that. She has a very clean sparse decor and it made me hate my place when I came back down here.)

Happy April

Trying to be very productive on this Tuesday.

I called my insurance adjuster with some questions about the checks I received.

Called the contractor who has been doing work in my house to find out next steps, talked to a contractor who is working in another unit today putting in hardwood laminate flooring.  Called health insurance for a referral for the ortho surgeon I want to see for my unbendable thumb, (could not get through to doctor's office though),   made matzah and egg breakfast, baked a gefilte fish loaf, tossed a years worth of sales receipts, watched 2 eps of SVU, printed a piece of music I have to learn for a recording session my chorus is having in a couple weeks,  met with a woman who is planning a service in which I'm singing.  Washed my dishes and talked to my broker about selling some of my apple stock.  I've made a tidy profit but it's all IRA money so I can't touch it for.... uh... 6 more years.  Isn't it funny how 59.5 used to be a magic far away number????  But even on the paltry number of shares I have, I've basically doubled my total investment due to Apple's incredible run. 

Because I don't have rehearsal tonight, I plan to continue decluttering, do some homework (I'm learning how to properly sing parts of the synagogue services in the required musical modes) watch Big Bang Theory  on demand, and continue to stress over how I'm going to have my floors done with the money they paid me, and how I'm going to get all the big pieces of furniture moved so they can get it done.

I'm hoping to meet Nicole in a couple of weeks - I offered her some old telephones that she said she could use for props at the theater where she works.  But we are both so busy in the evenings that we had to plan out a couple of weeks! 

ok add to that list finding a new doctor. I just got a letter in the mail that my "new" doctor is leaving the network.  I am on one of the Mass plans and it is getting harder and harder to find a doctor, especially a woman.  That's just great.

It's my birthday

I'm 53 today.  Nothing special planned, but did have my hair cut and colored, which I guess is appropriate if I'm trying to erase the years and the gray.  Nothing stands out about this birthday.  I no longer think about not being married or having kids - that doesn't really bother me although sometimes I may pretend that it does.  I guess what bothers me is that, if I'm not going to live to be 106 (most likely not), then I'm more than half done with life.  I feel more mortal these days than in years past.  Alan is 62 and while I have friends that are older, that scares me sometimes.  He is, of course, healthier than I am - except that he smokes.  I have chronic health issues that could kill me at any time.  Barretts Esophagus, which causes cancer, high blood pressure, low HDL (the good stuff), and I need to lower my triglycerides a bit.  I can't seem to stay on Weight Watchers ( I can't resist ice cream, chocolate or pizza) and have not been able to get myself over to the gym, although sometimes I really do have the urge to RUN.  Now I'm home, and need to get a few things done then go back to Alan's.  I don't know if he got me a present -probably something I don't need - but a nice lunch or dinner will be fine.  I have a Rossi rehearsal later.   When they say you're as young as you feel I guess sometimes that means I'm about 80.

Home Sweet Home

I love coming home to my condo after a busy day.  I don't know why, but I love being alone here. Puttering around, making dinner, sitting on the sofa and watching TV and getting cozy.  This is one of the reasons I have been so non-committal about moving in with Alan. It isn't that I don't want to be with him, and I love the location - it's convenience to everything I need - but I'm not sure if living with him is the right idea.  There are so many reasons, pro and con, that I don't see how it's ever going to happen.

Let's start with a few basic facts and then go into pros and cons, in no particular order.

1. I own my condo.  He owns his house (I don't even think it's in his name yet).
2. He is 62 and has never been married or lived with anyone (other than college roommates I think). 
3. I am 52 and never married.  I have lived with someone (I mean Eric, not my other roommates), and frankly, had vowed to never do it again.
4. When I talk about moving in, while he seems to want me to, I don't think he understands what is involved, or what I want him to do to the house before I move in.
5. I wouldn't sell my condo unless we were married and had some sort of agreement in place, so I'd have to rent it - which means replacing carpets, painting, finding a rental agent to do the background checks and show it, etc.   I still need to replace the toilet and dishwasher, as well.
6. Moving itself - What about my piano? my wall unit?  And what about his furniture, most of which I can't stand? He seems open to replacing things, but we have to really talk about these things, and his anxiety kicks in whenever I bring up anything.
7. I won't move in until he has at least replaced the carpets and finished painting the rooms.  The rugs are disgusting, especially the dining area and the hall.  I want a nice, clean, modern house.  To his credit, he has been giving a lot of stuff to Big Brother and other places, and he has done a lot to the house:  
• Front and Back storm doors replaced. 
• Painted the ceilings, 
• Rebuilt front steps and part of the back deck. 
• Painted the walls in the basement and installed a new toilet.  
• Kitchen completely redone, plus new stove and dishwasher. 
• House insulated
• House painted
  
  
  
  
8. On the plus side,  the house is in a great area, and he has no mortgage, so we'd just have to determine what I should pay him every month and how to divide up other expenses.  He has 2 car driveway, a deck and yard, he's close to Hebrew College and to work, and it's more convenient to go to anyplace south and west, or Brookline etc. 
9. We get along 85% of the time.  Of course the only time he gets anxiety is when I talk about the house and how we still need to do more to fix it up.   
10. I will save at least $1500 a month by moving.  I need to get that in rent to cover my mortgage and condo fee.  If  he figures out his expenses I can pay him one amount to cover everything and hopefully still save a lot of money, considering my expenses are about $2000 a month at least.  

Post Script to this post.  Alan had the wood floors under the carpets refinished and it looks AMAZING!  The house feels SO much cleaner now, and he's actively deciding what to get rid of.  Which means that HE is holding up his part of the bargain and I need to get moving, so to speak.   2/28/12

Second postscript. 5/31/12 - now that my floors are also done, (new carpet due to water damage, see other post), I'm working hard on decluttering, but not really because I want to move. I'm STILL having a problem with that issue. 

I feel so productive when I get things done, although they are just the routine things everyone manages to get done eventually... and thankfully I have more days in which to do them.

Ordered HP ink cartridge online
Dropped off taxes with Irene. Got them back in the mail, reviewed, signed forms, and awaiting my $1200 federal refund!
Travelled to NJ for bat mitzvah
Worked
Two Rossi services (Stoughton and Lexington) for which I got paid!!
Two Zamir concerts (ACDA and Trinity Church)
Two musical presentations at Shabbat services
Met with Paula on upcoming services
Dealing with insurance for water damage in Condo. Calls, visits, photographs
Help Nat with kids - feeding them dinner and getting them to rehearsals.
Laundry, Bill Paying, etc.
Updating budget and investment spreadsheets

I Need to Own It.

I have decided that I should no longer act as if I'm just a little amateur singer helping out during services, but accept that I am a professional cantorial soloist who has valid knowledge to share.  I've been grappling with this for awhile, as sometimes I feel conflicted due to my feelings about religion and prayer in general.  But I have been coming to the understanding that I am not the only one who is sometimes ambivalent about what to believe.  Plus,  I keep saying that I need another vocation from which to earn a living.  Well, I'm enrolled in the  Jewish Music Certificate program, I've learned how to chant Torah, I've learned Hebrew, and I'm taking a Nusach course this semester (the one I took for no credit a couple years ago).   So, all in all, this all makes perfect sense, so ambivalent or not, I've got to embrace it.


This Friday night, AAEI is having the first in a series of services called Sing, Pray, Eat, Learn.  It involves me teaching a melody to a prayer, then we'll have our Kabbalat Shabbat  service, then an oneg shabbat and a discussion of a prayer with the Rabbi.  We have four planned in total, and Rabbi Kudan will discuss a different prayer at each one.   For this first one, I'm going to teach a new melody for L'cha Dodi.  Paula Sack is our new Ritual Director, and although she was not coming to services for a long time, something brought her back and she took over the duties with gusto.  I like Paula - she speaks her mind and tells it like it is. 

So today, I spent some time on this, after receiving the Rabbi's outline for the service.  He had some songs listed that he wanted me to do that I haven't done before or don't know already.  But I'm going to learn them, I put together something to say before I teach L'cha Dodi, and I will work on the songs I am going to sing so that I'm professional and prepared.

Unfortunately, I also have commitments that will keep me from the March service, and the Shabbat over America service being planned for March, but I am involved in the Rossi Ensemble, and Alan and I are also going to a Bat Mitzvah in NJ.   Any excuse to get away, although my commitments often also require me to swap work hours, and I've hardly got any free nights with which to swap!  

Second SPEL

I got a chance to do even more for our second Sing, Pray, Eat, Learn service last Friday night.  I put together a little lecture about some of the composers whose music we sing on Friday nights - Lewandowski, Sulzer and a couple of others.  We didn't have as many people - about 15 vs. about 30 the first month, but they were an appreciative audience and the Rabbi couldn't stop talking about it afterwards, even telling TTI people about it the other night at our Purim Shpiel rehearsal.   I wasn't that thrilled with my results - but Rabbi K says I "have a gift"... yeah right.

Amazingly, I mostly stayed on script,  but should have sung more of the prayers I was talking about.  I wanted to be more organized.  I slightly changed my focus that day, and was busily scanning and printing music up until it was time to go!  
   The Rabbi also wanted me to do some of the same songs I sang during last month's service, which was more of Debbie Friedman, but AI didn't bring the music with me, and felt that last month was kind of a "reform-a-palooza" where we truly broke out of our comfort zone.   I don't know if the congregation really wants me to permanently change some of our "beloved" melodies.  I like mixing it up, kind of like they do in Waltham.

  Anyway, I think overall I did ok, and people said that they learned something.

A clean Condo for 2012

2012 is the year I'm going to get things done.  First order of business is to try to declutter my condo.  By that I mean get rid of all the things I don't need or no longer use - ie, the records and dishes that I have had in my house for the TEN years since my father passed away.  (Can't believe it's been TEN years, but I digress).

Opportunities come up occasionally and I'm trying to take advantage.  I gave some really nice skirts to  Zamir's manager - she said she LOVES hand-me-downs and these were really nice, but she is a tiny woman and they were too big, although they looked pretty tiny.    I hope she can pass them along as I don't want them back.

Today I got an email that WCUW is having a used record sale on  Jan 28.    I'm going to go through all my records (including all those aforementioned records of my dad's) and see I have some I can bring out to Worcester before the sale.  I mean, if I haven't done anything with them for 10 years, what am I waiting for???  Some did go to the library book sale awhile back, and I'm sure they gave them away.   I have my $25 ION usb turntable, which isn't top of the line, but has worked pretty well so far for digitizing some cuts off of some old Israeli records.  I don't care about the others. I need them out of my house.

From the way people on the Melrose Freecycle list get rid of things, they must have the cleanest houses you could imagine.  I have given away some odds and ends on Freecycle - that Dalek clock I got in a Yankee swap, my old camera and some other techy stuff, some boxes of haircolor, a couple bottles of makeup,  and I gave away a couple things to women I met on Flylady.   I'm glad that clutter is gone, but there is still so much more!

In return, on Freecycle, I got Alan a nice Cuisinart coffee maker and a brand new George Forman grill.  I also got a cool looking old table radio.  I'd rather have larger items that we can use than all the little things taking up space.

Alan keeps giving things to Big Brother/Big Sister.   I also have given them some things, but it still seems that there is so much here... Not all things can be recycled. I have books, CDs, DVDs, VCR tapes, records, and paper paper paper.  Oh, and about 300 cassette tapes that no one wants. Someday maybe I can digitize cuts off those too.