Home Sweet Home

I love coming home to my condo after a busy day.  I don't know why, but I love being alone here. Puttering around, making dinner, sitting on the sofa and watching TV and getting cozy.  This is one of the reasons I have been so non-committal about moving in with Alan. It isn't that I don't want to be with him, and I love the location - it's convenience to everything I need - but I'm not sure if living with him is the right idea.  There are so many reasons, pro and con, that I don't see how it's ever going to happen.

Let's start with a few basic facts and then go into pros and cons, in no particular order.

1. I own my condo.  He owns his house (I don't even think it's in his name yet).
2. He is 62 and has never been married or lived with anyone (other than college roommates I think). 
3. I am 52 and never married.  I have lived with someone (I mean Eric, not my other roommates), and frankly, had vowed to never do it again.
4. When I talk about moving in, while he seems to want me to, I don't think he understands what is involved, or what I want him to do to the house before I move in.
5. I wouldn't sell my condo unless we were married and had some sort of agreement in place, so I'd have to rent it - which means replacing carpets, painting, finding a rental agent to do the background checks and show it, etc.   I still need to replace the toilet and dishwasher, as well.
6. Moving itself - What about my piano? my wall unit?  And what about his furniture, most of which I can't stand? He seems open to replacing things, but we have to really talk about these things, and his anxiety kicks in whenever I bring up anything.
7. I won't move in until he has at least replaced the carpets and finished painting the rooms.  The rugs are disgusting, especially the dining area and the hall.  I want a nice, clean, modern house.  To his credit, he has been giving a lot of stuff to Big Brother and other places, and he has done a lot to the house:  
• Front and Back storm doors replaced. 
• Painted the ceilings, 
• Rebuilt front steps and part of the back deck. 
• Painted the walls in the basement and installed a new toilet.  
• Kitchen completely redone, plus new stove and dishwasher. 
• House insulated
• House painted
  
  
  
  
8. On the plus side,  the house is in a great area, and he has no mortgage, so we'd just have to determine what I should pay him every month and how to divide up other expenses.  He has 2 car driveway, a deck and yard, he's close to Hebrew College and to work, and it's more convenient to go to anyplace south and west, or Brookline etc. 
9. We get along 85% of the time.  Of course the only time he gets anxiety is when I talk about the house and how we still need to do more to fix it up.   
10. I will save at least $1500 a month by moving.  I need to get that in rent to cover my mortgage and condo fee.  If  he figures out his expenses I can pay him one amount to cover everything and hopefully still save a lot of money, considering my expenses are about $2000 a month at least.  

Post Script to this post.  Alan had the wood floors under the carpets refinished and it looks AMAZING!  The house feels SO much cleaner now, and he's actively deciding what to get rid of.  Which means that HE is holding up his part of the bargain and I need to get moving, so to speak.   2/28/12

Second postscript. 5/31/12 - now that my floors are also done, (new carpet due to water damage, see other post), I'm working hard on decluttering, but not really because I want to move. I'm STILL having a problem with that issue.